The hero's journey is all about you, but it's not about you at all.
Hero's journey means to live every moment of your life like it matters, it means to live as if you have an important mission, it means seeing struggles as adventures, and setbacks as lessons
What matters most isn't the prize at the end but how the hero is changed in the process
At actin they make 3 promises to the students
- Learn how to learn
- Learn how to make money
- Learn how to live a life of meaning
Making money is not hard but it is complicated.
Learn how to learn is the most important skill to have at graduation
Learning to:
- Listen
- Ask questions
- Make my poise
- Trying not to be the smartest person in the room
Graduate students who came back 3 years after graduation said the most valuable lesson is how to live a life with meaning, it was those lessons that changed my life.
Start this journey with some practical advice: find great role models and ask them great questions.
Each student chooses 10 role models
- Business people
- Religious people
- Aunts and uncles
And ask to meet with each one for 1-3 hours to ask about triumphs and regrets, and lessons they wished they learned earlier.
3 of the interviews are to be with someone your age to age 35
3 from age 45 to 60
And at least 3 over the age of sixty
All of those people interviewed over the age 60 will say basically the same thing. At the end of life only 3 questions will matter.
- Have I contributed something meaningful
- Am I a good person?
- Who did I love and who loved me?
Nothing about power, money or fame. All of that will fade in only these 3 questions.
Have I contributed something meaningful?
The secret to unlocking that question is to never give up your search for a calling. Use your special gift and use them to bring great joy, satisfying a great need in the world.
Try this experiment to find you gift:
Ask 5 people you know well, what you do better than anyone else in the world? Press for specifics and examples. You will be surprised at what you find:
The answers will be consistent and you will discover your gift is something you assumed was easy. Using God given gifts is something that brings you great joy.
How do you find something that brings you great joy?
Think of the last time you lost track of time while doing something. Something you would practice for the sake of practicing, something that could become a lifelong discipline that you're committed to master, if you find where your God given gifts intersect with finding that joy, you will be very close to the calling.
The last part of the calling is the most important of all: Satisfying a deep burning need in the world, a calling must serve others, it must matter to you.
What need today calls out to your heart?
What is there in justice or opportunity that you just can't resist?
What problem do you feel is why you were put on this earth to solve?
There is where you will find your calling.
Am I good person?
Write down a list of all of your
- "I will nots"
- Moral boundaries you will not cross under any circumstances
When you do cross one of those boundaries recognize it as a time to stop, to pause and reflect before you fall down a slippery slope.
Anticipate these moments of great temptation, when you might be tempted to cheat on a spouse or pursue a path of longing, power and money.
For each I will not - write yourself a message in a bottle--put it in an envelope in your top desk drawer and then at that moment of temptation you can take it out and read it
Joke: Do you know what the difference is between you and God?
God never believes he's you.
Pride can lead you to terrible consequences when you cross those "I will not" guardrails
Who did I love and who loved me?
Choose you fellow traveler's well for it’s a trip you only take once. You will underestimate the power of extraordinary people. Extraordinary people get 10 times the amount done then those that are merely good at their job. And those that are merely good at their job get 10 times more done than the average person.
It is important to be surrounded by people with character because you will become like the people of those around you.
In the real world you will have to choose much more wisely.
One final bit of caution about the most special of your fellow traveler's -- spend a lot of time with your family you only get one chance to see your kids grow up
"It's not about you but it's not all about you"
It's not about your happiness
A hero's journey isn't as easy as a fool's errand, you will have even more setbacks and more battles because the stakes will be higher. But, you will fight those battles and be more satisfied and fulfilled because you'll make a difference.
It's all about you because using your gifts to change the world will change you in the process and realize you serve a force in the universe who's far bigger than you are.
Here's one more glimpse into your future:
Somewhere along the way if you choose the Hero's Journey you'll give up measuring yourself against others
If you are on a fool's errand : there is always someone who is smarter than you are, or richer, or better looking, and you'll always be dissatisfied and unfulfilled and looking for another rat race to run
But if you are on a hero's journey the stepping stones that you set will be yours and the will eventually lead you to the gift of gratitude.
One last bit of practical advice: think of someone in your life who you ate truly grateful for but have never thanked a parent, a favorite aunt, a coach, a teacher then write a 1 page letter expressing your gratitude and go find them and read the letter aloud. If you do this you will be happier and more satisfied for months to come. You will likely find more things in your life to be grateful for and even begin to expect good things will happen to you. People you believe they will be lucky actually turn out to be luckier.
A glimpse of your future:
you will realize you were worried about the wrong things, it can be the most expensive mistake you will make. You will be successful, you'll make more money than you need, and you'll learn that rich means spending less than you make so your time is on you. Failure once so feared seen in reverse will only make you stronger increasingly and especially if you resist the hero's call you will find that your greatest horror in life isn't failure but waking up at 50 or 60 years old and realizing you have wasted your life.
Lord Actin the Victorian scholar of freedom said " a wise person does it once, but a fool does it last. Both do the same thing only at different times. The question is which are you? Do you have the courage to take that first step on a hero's journey? And, will you take it today?
If you don't choose a journey's Hero, then who will? And if you don't start now, then when?
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